Marianne’s support for her father was returned by him when her own marriage was in trouble. In August 1842, Marianne and Albert had a bitter row about Albert’s mistress, Rosalie von Rauch. She was also Marianne’s lady-in-waiting. Albert was quite open about his relationship with Rosalie, and even paraded her in front of his wife and children, much to Marianne’s humiliation. In the best interest of the children, Marianne offered Albert an official separation – not a divorce – if she received full custody of the children. He appeared to be receptive to the idea and said he would discuss it with her father. However, two weeks later, he accused her of adultery, likely intended to distract from his own adulterous relationship.
Marianne wrote to Queen Elisabeth Ludovika, “What I feel for my husband is sincere pity that he could sink so low, by accusing his wife, the mother of his children and for whom?” […] If there were the slightest truth in this accusation, I would be the most shameless wife alive; but thank God, I have the audacity of virtue. […] If I now insist more than ever on a separation, I wish to prove that he has no right whatever to demand the dissolution of the marriage, which I will never consent to for the sake of the children. I commend them to you, dear Elise, these poor, unhappy creatures whose fate is sad because of the discord between their parents.”1
Albert’s brother, King Frederick William IV of Prussia (who had succeeded his father in 1840), was very concerned about the whole matter, and Marianne wrote to him asking him to set a date for a meeting with him, Albert and Marianne herself. Instead, he sent Albert away on a trip to Egypt from February until August 1843 while Marianne waited. Their reunion in August was not a happy one, and Marianne’s health began to suffer as a result of all the stress. She was advised to go to Italy, but only begrudgingly went, as she had to leave her children behind. The children were now in the care of King Frederick William and Queen Elisabeth Ludovika, who had no children of their own. To Queen Elisabeth Ludovika, Marianne wrote that she missed her children “endlessly.”2
Shortly before Christmas that year, Marianne received the news that her father had suffered a stroke and died on 12 December. Marianne was devastated and became determined to make it work with Albert. She wrote to Queen Elisabeth Ludovika, “I’m at ease, because Dad is happy now. I can’t doubt that, and I’m only concerned with my future and the duties his last wishes impose on me. I’ve already made preparations to achieve a true reconciliation with my husband.”3 Marianne returned to Berlin in January 1844, and Albert appeared to be willing to reconcile. Just a few months later, things became worse again. Marianne returned to Italy, where she purchased a villa which she named Villa Carlotta, after her eldest daughter. The Prussian King now realised that there was no hope of a reconciliation and prepared the formal document for a separation.
Marianne was delighted and immediately signed the document. She wrote, “We [women] are meant to be our husbands’ friends and helpmates, who in turn offer us support and protection. I was never able to be what I wanted to be for Albert. He treated me like a toy he was pleased with and then threw away. I should never have let myself be treated that way, because I should have understood that I was losing his respect, but I loved him too much to resist. I thought only of him and wanted nothing more than to please him.”4 The children remained in the care of the Prussian King and Queen, but their parents would have a say and could stay with their parents too. Marianne began to spend most of her time in Italy and the Netherlands and was soon being accused of neglecting her children. The mere idea of visiting Berlin made her feel ill.
Marianne remained scandal-free for the next few years until 1847. This was the year she was first accused of having an intimate relationship with a servant. His name was Johannes van Rossum, and he was Marianne’s coachman and secretary. He was a learned man, and Marianne enjoyed discussing books with him. When he became her unofficial librarian (as the King would typically make such an appointment), they began spending a great deal of time in the library of the Kamieniec Ząbkowicki Palace together, and other staff members began to notice. The Prussian King was informed, and Marianne travelled to Berlin to refute the rumours. The King and Queen believed Marianne, and she was most grateful for their trust.
Nevertheless, the rumours and complaints persisted and eventually the King began to side with Marianne’s staff. Marianne wanted to travel to the Netherlands, which was allowed on the condition that she would not have any contact with Johannes. Once she crossed the Dutch border, she angrily wrote to the Prussian King that she was no longer subject to his demands and she would see Johannes whenever she pleased. She told her brother, King William II, that she and Johannes only ever discussed books. He wrote to the Prussian King that they should have some patience with Marianne, but they had long since run out of patience. King Frederick William IV once again reminded her of her children.
In February 1848, Marianne purchased an estate in Voorburg, near The Hague. She wrote to the Prussian King a sort of peace offering, which moved him so much that he invited her to return to Prussia. Marianne responded by asking him to send her children to her, as she was allowed to have them for part of the year. He was not amused and wrote, “Her sacred love for the footman-chamberlain-librian-secretary-preacher-and-prayer has led to such ‘outspoken’ behaviour to me and her duties as Princess of Prussia and as mother of Princes and Princesses of Prussia, that I am forced to demand her return and if she is disobedient, to demand the return of her entire court to Prussia.”5
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